I feed Jaydon on demand-not on a specific hour schedule.
I exclusively breastfeed-no formula supplementing here.
I bounce him to sleep-don't let him fall asleep on his own.
I respond to his cries within a few minutes-no crying it out.
I've delayed his vaccines & will use an alternative schedule.
I'm not going to start cereal/food until he's atleast 5mths-want to ensure his digestive system can handle it.
He sleeps in a co-sleeper next to the bed-only occasionally naps in his crib.
He gets a pacifier-he has a strong urger to suckle & I'm not going to be his pacifier.
I'm wondering if because I'm not doing things the traditional or recommended way I'm achieving the opposite of my desired goal . I want a baby that's happy & content. I want a toddler that's happy & smart & well rounded. I feel that I just have an unhappy difficult baby. He's often happy but it can change in a split second with no warning. I don't know what all this holds for his/our future.
Right now I have a baby that has reflux so bad he constantly spits up...so bad we usually both go through several outfits a day. I don't think people truly understand what this reflux does to him. His tummy constantly hurts him & rumbles. When it hurts him he stiffens in pain, arching his back. He spits up hours after his last feeding. Alot of times he just cries & cries & now he's figured out his can squeal & scream too. We know it's his tummy making him act this way as he's fed, his diaper is clean & his clothes aren't bothering him. It breaks my heart to see my baby in so much pain.
Right now I have a baby that fights sleep like nothing you'd believe from a 4mth old. I never knew it started this early. He sleeps best swaddled because his arms flail about waking him up. Yet he fights to free his arms so he can sleep with them above his head. I sing him "He's Got the Whole World in His Hands" every night before bed as we're bouncing on the exercise ball. This is pretty much the only way he'll fall asleep. I try to lay him down when he's drowsy & it often works. I can't let him cry it out as when he cries too hard it causes him to spit up & he chokes on it. I'm terrified he will aspirate & get pneumonia or worse.
I realize I'm doing things I shouldn't do but when your child is screaming & crying you'll do anything you can to comfort them & save your sanity; which is why I do things the way I do. I just pray that I'm not screwing things up for when he's older. I don't want him to be a momma's boy...well, not when he's older anyway. I don't want putting him to sleep to become a big production. I don't want a 2 yr old running around with a binky still in his mouth.
I keep telling myself he's only a baby for so long so I'm going to do what I can to enjoy him at this age.
Oh honey, I don't see anything wrong with the above things. You're doing just fine :) Remember, he's only 4 months old and still so completely innocent and new to life itself. As he gets older, you'll be able to tell when he is playing you so he can be held when he wants... but for now, enjoy him and hold him all you want, even if it means rocking him to sleep :) Also, personally, I think it's better to do strictly breast feeding and I plan on doing it. I know plenty of mommies who keep their babies in their bassinet or pack & play until they are 8 months old, so you're fine. As for him eating on command instead of on a schedule, you'll know if he is gaining too much weight. With his reflux, I'll bet he's hungry more often because he is spitting up all the time. Don't feel bad, it sounds to me like you're a great mother! :)
ReplyDeletethere's nothing wrong with how you are raising your baby!! you are doing wonderful. in facet, there is a name for moms like us (i say us because everything you are doing is exactly how i am raising my 4 kids--ages 11, 3, 2 and 3 months) AP -- or attachment parents. here is my blog post on being AP: http://nook-o-neen.blogspot.com/2009/09/well-whaddya-know-i-guess-im-ap-mom.html
ReplyDeleteand here is the AP website: http://www.attachmentparenting.org/
As one military wife with a reflux baby to another, I am here for you if you need someone that can relate.
ReplyDeleteLori (CoastiesGirl)
Who says what is "normal" or how you should raise your baby? Who cares how you get him to sleep as long as he sleeps. Who cares when or what he eats as long as he eats. Nothing is ever perfect Shannon, even "that" baby. He is amazing however not all babies are "good" babies. Jaydon is fussy like so many other babies out there. Im sorry you didnt get a perfect baby thats happy all the time. We have talked many times about how much worse it could be. You are doing the best you know how. No one has any majic answers or cures for him. Your love is all he needs and you are doing a damn good job of being the best mother you can be. Its stressful I know but babies are not all rainbows and puppies and smiliey faces. There hard work and it pays off everytime you see him smile at you. Hang in there sis, you are doing a phenomonal job. This to shall pass. Love you!!!!
ReplyDeleteStef
Well, all I can say is that parenthood has been an extremely humbling experience. I used to think there were things I was going to do, and not do, but now I see the realities...I also know that if a baby is screaming on a plane, it's really not the parents' fault, and there is not much that can be done. (Nightmare 18 hour trip from Dothan to Hawaii...).
ReplyDelete